Now don’t get me wrong, I freaking love kids.
But housesitting and kidsitting this week is making me have “I WILL NEVER HAVE CHILDREN” impulses for a handful of reasons.
1) Getting up and going to an exercise class at 4:30 am is incredibly difficult when a 10 year old has a nightmare and you are woken up at 1 and then must talk to her and pet her head and rub her back until she falls asleep at 2 and then you try to fall asleep yourself but you were startled and it takes another half hour.
2) Coming back from an exercise class at 6 am and getting ready for work is difficult when at 6:30 you have to wake up the 15 year old and walk the dog and make lunches and make sure she eats breakfast and at 7 you have to wake up the 10 year old and do the same thing and at 710 you have to drive the girl to school and then at 8 you have to make sure the littlest one gets off to school, all whilst trying desperately to straighten your hair/put on your work clothes/put on your work make up in between childcare duties.
3) Going running when you want to, aka at night, is also difficult when you want to run at 9pm but the 10 year old is scared of taking baths in the house alone and the teenager is returning from a walk with her friends and hasn’t finished her homework and all you want to do is go running, but you cannot run, because you must be in the house.
4) Getting a drink on National Margarita Day is impossible because you are home supervising.
5) After work you want to sit down and lounge around on the internet and/or go out with friends and/or go to an exercise class and/or whatever but you can’t becuase you must be home to feed the dogs, walk the dogs, and supervise the children.
6) Eating healthy is difficult when eating with a table of kids because I want to eat spinach and they hate spinach and I want a lean cuisine and they ask whyyyy I’m eating a lean cuisine, do I think I’m fat? and I just want to EAT WHAT I WANT TO EAT!
I don’t know how you mothers and fathers out there do it. Seriously. I can barely get my butt to the gym withOUT caring for other human beings. You are impressive.
